Hard to Hear

Even though my childhood abuse is decades behind me, it is still difficult for me to share with others. Some of that is from reliving horrible memories and emotions created by my past; however, my fear in sharing has more to do with rejection. I have been rejected by family members, friends, members of support groups and even people from church.

My story is difficult to hear, and it makes most people uncomfortable. This is a natural and appropriate reaction. We should be uncomfortable with people sexually assaulting children; but we should not be uncomfortable with the person who was the child. What happened to me as a child was horrible, yes. But we shouldn’t shut down and run away from it. It should outrage us that stuff like this happens. It should create a desire in us to help others – to stop this kind of behavior and protect our children.

Sadly, my story is not unique. If you are in a room with 8 people, statistically two women and one man in that group have been sexually assaulted as a child. With so many people affected by this crime, you would think we would do more to stop it. Instead, we cover it up and hope no one finds out. Imagine how many lives are impacted by abuse. It would be a different world if our children could grow up in homes of love instead of darkness and despair. The effects of abuse are far reaching.

Above I used the phrase “sexually assaulted” to try to help drive home a truth. Saying someone was sexually abused lessons the reality of their experience. If someone is attacked and raped on the street, it is sexual assault. If the same thing happens in the home, suddenly we label it as abuse or incest. It is still rape. The only difference between being raped by a complete stranger and a family member is, with the family member, you mix in emotions of betrayal and have the destruction of trust. It is devastating to have the person who is supposed to be your protector be your assailant.